Farewell Summer

My beautiful boy started his first day of kindergarten at a new private school this morning. I've been torturing myself for weeks about the decision to send him there vs. the neighborhood public school or homeschooling. I worry constantly about whether or not I'm serving him in the ways that are best for him. But a few things happened this morning that have given me a sense of peace and perspective.



First, we had this lovely (and very typical, I might add) interaction this morning:



This morning I climbed into bed to wake my little man. He opened his eyes and looked up at me immediately.

Me: Good morning, sweet boy.

JC: No, is not time a wake up in the mornin yet.


Me: (giggling) It's not?



JC: (smiling back at me) I missed you.


Me: (melting) I missed you, too, sweet boy. Today is the first day of school!


JC: I remember wa first day of zoo school before. . . and wa first day of BS (his last school) . . . and now I have wa first day of . . .

Me: MA (name of new school) and kindergarten

JC: (Big smile)

Me: Are you excited?

JC: Yes, I start first day at one more schoool.

Me: Yes. You're a kindergartener now.


JC: (looking at the window) It's not mornin yet

Me: We have to wake up early on school days. Let's go potty and then have some breakfast.


JC: What's for beckfass, mommy?


Me: An egg omelet w/ vegetables and a little cheese on top.


JC: I don't remember dat in a while.



<3>



This interaction told me a few things: 1) I am absolutely blessed; 2) He is eager to be back in a school environment around other children; 3) He trusts me (not sure how I came to that conclusion, but it's what I felt)



Then, as we drove to school this morning I reminded him to have fun and be a good friend. And I explained that some children are still learning to talk while others talk very well. And some use sign language. And that it's OK. Everyone learns differently.



He seemed to really be taking it all in.



As I dropped him off, I told him that I loved him and would pick him up after lunch. He greeted the classroom assistants who took him from the car at the car circle with enthusiasm, and as they walked toward the school building, he looked back twice and waved good-bye. *sniff* He is such a brave and confident young man. I'd like to think that I have had some small part of that, though I think most of his awesomeness is his own doing.



Last, but certainly not least, I read my friend K's blog this morning and it brought me to tears. In part because I'm in a pretty vulnerable place with my little man growing up before my eyes, and in part because her words are so true. I WILL make mistakes as a parent. We all do. And heaven knows I made my share with my first-born. And with a special needs child those fears are magnified, as it is sometimes impossible to be objective and even more impossible to predict the future. But I also do something right, something important: I let him know daily how wanted and wonderful he is.



If you have a chance to read or follow my friend's blog, I highly recommend it. She's a gem. <3>




Here is the entry in particular that moved me this morning: http://drycappucino.blogspot.com/2009/08/sooc-saturday-being-loved-part-two.html

Love to all!