Zoo School

JC and I have been attending the "Animal Adventure Club" at Lowry Park Zoo this summer. It's a class available to 3-5 year olds and their parents. Each week we learn about a new animal, listen to a story about the animal, do a coloring page and a craft, and when possible we get a close-up look at the animal or a substitute (this week we got to see an owl instead of a penguin, and the day that we studied caterpillars we got to see a Giant African Millipede instead).
After the class, everyone gets to go to the zoo (seperate from the Zoo School) to see the animals of the week. At that point we usually seperate and stay at the zoo for a while, exploring other things, having snacks, riding rides, etc.. It's a good two hour drive from where we live, but we have family there and some weeks we spend the night. Even on weeks that we don't, it's been worth the drive and we've had a ton of fun. I FINALLY got a few pictures yesterday before the rain set in . . .

*Photos are in reverse order. I'm still learning over here.

You can start at the bottom and work your way up if you'd like. :) *

Waterfalls inside Zoo entrance

Tot Playground at the Zoo School


We had class outside this morning



Got to see a beautiful owl

Emperor Penguins are bigger than Little Men! :)


This is where we normally gather for class

Our Penguin craft, made w/ potato stamps :)

The other half of the classroom

The walk to the Zoo School from the back lot. LOVE the trees . . .

The Power of Negative Thinking

I am a firm believer in the power of positive thinking, and I like to think of myself as an optimist, generally. And when faced with big obstacles, I do try to employ the power of positive thinking to get me over, around or through them. But unfortunately, as much as I *believe* in the benefits of positive thoughts, I don't always remember to use the power on the smaller, day-to-day tasks and relations. Instead I tend to slip into the habit of negative thoughts fairly often, usually without realizing it. Today, I realized it.



The day started out well enough. JC and I slept in a bit (8:30 yay!), had breakfast, piddled around and got ready for some errands. For some reason(s) (the fact that it's *that* time of the month being one of them), despite sleeping in, I still felt tired today. We went to the bank to have a form notarized, made two seperate trips to Target, went to the library, came home a couple of times in between, then headed out to a "free play" session at MyGym. But throughout the day, especially while driving to and fro each of these places, negative thoughts won out.





They started out innocently enough, like thinking of how frustrated I feel when my dh gives JC snacks immediately before bedtime, despite at least a dozen discussions about how it is bad for his reflux. From there I found myself thinking about what I could do to change dh's behavior without being a nagging witch (again). I noted how mean I can be when I'm frustrated or angry and pondered how I might behave differently to obtain different results. Because while my feelings of frustration might be justified (and of course I believe they are), my harsh replies aren't necessary, nor are they particularly effective, based on the results.





Then I noted how impatient I was toward a cashier at a gas station who carded me for cigarettes and didn't accept the expired NJ license I had in my wallet (current license was in my purse in the car). "I'm 37 years old, ma'am," I snapped before huffing out to my car to retrieve my wallet. When I returned, I attempted to soften up a bit, realizing that the woman was just doing her job, but I didn't apologize or acknowledge my awareness to her and basically avoided eye contact and got out as quickly as I could.



So essentially, even though I was reflecting on my behavior, the process of reliving those experiences and the anger and frustration that I felt, combined with the disappointment I felt in being so jerk-like, started impacting my overall mood and patience. Of course it didn't help that my autistic son had increased physical clinginess, OCD behaviors and whining today. In fact, I'm sure my negative energy threw him off even further - even though all of these were thoughts in my head and I didn't speak a word about any of them. He feels it and sees it.



So by the time we got to MyGym, after a long drive in traffic and some additional negative thoughts (this time about a friendship that has felt "off" lately), I really wasn't in the right head space. And JC continued to be off. He immediately noted the music, which was a CD that played clips of theme songs from various kid TV shows (Handy Manny, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Jack's Big Music Show, etc.) and he started asking, "What show is that from, Mom?" Over and over and over and over- and over -every minute or so. He was totally preoccupied. And they had the CD on repeat, so he asked again about the same songs even though he knew the answer or had already been told that I didn't know the show. *giggle/sigh* I could physically feel my patience being depleted and my stress level rising. And I was so tired of being grabbed and pulled and poked.



Then I realized that I had to snap out of it. I wasn't being fun or helping the situation. I was tired, irritated, and I had a lousy attitude. I was being a jerk. But thanks to JC I was quickly reminded that Negative attitude + ASD son on an off day is guaranteed to = multiplied unpleasant emotions and stress. JC is very sensitive to others' emotions and will become more difficult as my frustration level rises, so I knew I had to shift and snap out of it. The more anxious, physical, and intense he becomes, the calmer I need to become. If I'm not, he feels it and reacts to it, quite negatively. This is likely true for every child, and adult, for that matter, but with JC it is magnified and backfires (see Dammit post - and trust me).



So, I pretended to be pleasant and calm when he rudely demanded more juice, gum, whatever. I exaggerated my "thank you's" and used my best, peaceful, pleasant voice with him. Instead of being a wall, I became a swinging door (which is how I try to operate on my good days with him). And in the process, I think I found an answer to how to handle my husband when he doesn't do what we've agreed to. What's that, you ask? Fake it! ;) I will PRETEND to be a kind, patient, understanding wife.



If you want to be confident, act confident. If you want to be happy, act happy. If you want to be patient and kind, act patient and kind. In time you will become. That's what they tell me, anyway. And on this night I choose to believe . . . and remember. And my husband is sleeping, of course, so hopefully I'll remember tomorrow, too.

And we're off!

The boys and I will be heading out this evening for our family vacation to NJ and NYC. Looking forward to the sights and time away from the daily routine (or lack thereof as can be the case some of the time).

I finally replaced the cord for my camera that my little guy chewed on several months ago with a card reader/writer for only $13. The delay is the price I pay for ignorance and spending so much time under my rock instead of keeping up with modern advancements. There are other prices I pay, of course, but let's not go there today.

The good news is that I was able to upload all of the photos that have been stored on my camera since December, freeing it up for pictures of one happy boy and his Lady Liberty . . . and friends, etc. :)

Will hopefully figure out how to post pictures here when we return.

Peace. Out.

For the Love of "Damn it"!

So the story begins at my dad's house a few weeks ago. JC is exceptionally hyper when we're there for some reason and this time was no exception. Actually, he might've been a bit better than times before, but I doubt that was noticed by anyone but me.

Anyway, my dad has a glass-top sofa table featuring probably 20 framed photographs. Several of them are pictures of my kids (his grandchildren) that I have given to him over the years (it's what you do for a grumpy man who needs nothing and says he wants nothing, especially when you're poor like we are.) So JC was checking them out, and they started falling over. So I tried to intervene, catching one just before it fell off the table. And just as quickly as I'd set one back up, he'd be on to another. The kid is fast. After about the 3rd time of catching a frame just in the knick of time, I grew frustrated and firmly said, "No! Damn it!" Shame on me for having a potty mouth.

Well, my very perceptive little man picked up on this new word instantly and seemed to know that it held power. He immediately grabbed me and started repeating, "No, damn it!! No, damn it! No, DAMN IT!" while giggling. I decided it was best not to give him any attention and to change the subject. I thought it worked. But as I've said, he's a smart little dude.


A week or so later he overheard me say damn it again. (insert blushing emoticon here) This time I tried to play it off as if I'd said "darn-it" and I explained that sometimes I say darn-it when I feel frustrated. His response? "Darn-it means damn it, mom!" LOL Oy! Once again, I make an effort not to make a big deal out of it and was sure to turn my head away to hide the amused expression on my face. He repeated himself a few more times and I ignored and tried to distract him.


Fast forward to this past weekend at the park. My daughter and I were sitting on the bench and she wanted to take a picture of JC and I, so I told JC to give me a kiss so she could capture the kiss. So JC and I are in the "kiss pose" - I think he was holding my face , but I could be misremembering - and I kept waiting to hear the click of the camera. Seconds went by and JC stayed there in the kiss pose with me, which is surprising, really, so perhaps he was waiting to hear the click, too? Anyway, I started giggling as our lips were pressed together, thinking it was adorable that JC was posing with me this long, but apparently we just missed the click because M had already taken the picture. My giggle turned into full-blown laughter, which of course broke the pose. This frustrated JC and in the excitement of the moment, he smacked my mouth. It hurt. LOL So, I responded by yelling "Ouch!" and covering my mouth with my hand. JC responded, apparently trying to help me express myself with more passion, by saying, "Damn it!" (We really need emoticons here, folks!)

Again, I tried to play it off by telling him that the appropriate word is "darn-it" and he again explained to me that it means the same damn thing as damn it. Then he told me that darn-it rhymes with damn it. I finally broke down and told him that damn \it is not a nice word and that we should not say it anymore. He continued with a few other exchanges and questions about the words darn-it and damn it, which amused his sister, making it necessary for both of us to turn away and cover our faces so that JC wouldn't see our smiles. Then we carried on with our park outing, trying to put it all behind us. But that wasn't the end. Oh no, I'm afraid this might be a life-long tradition. I hope I'm wrong, but at the same time I'm so pleased that my potty mouth has improved enough that I use damn it more often than the S word or the F word. Yikes.


So then today we went to a local Chick-Fil-A so that we could play on their playground to expend some energy before the academic eval he had scheduled at the private school I've decided to send him to on a modified schedule. All was going well, I was a good girl and used only nice words. Suddenly, JC came out of one of the tunnels and said, "It smells yucky! It smells wike poop!" I explored the tunnel but found no poop smell. He insisted. I finally realized that he'd had a bout of reflux and spit-up on his shirt (the whole reflux thing is another story) and it smelled acidic, like vomit. So I told him that I thought what he smelled was vomit, not poop, and I tried to explain what vomit was. He took it in, quietly. Then suddenly said, "Vomit rhymes with damn it. They both 'begin' with the same ending sound, mom!"

Well, yes they do, son. They do indeed.


The good news, of course, is that he's picking up on ending sounds and beginning to experiment with rhyming. I take the good wherever I can get it. :)

A first time for everything!

While waiting for the dryer to finish its cycle, I want to take a moment to share a "first." Just moments ago as I was moving laundry through, I heard what sounded like someone moving furniture around. I assumed it was the lady who lives upstairs, but as I walked back into the kitchen I found my son standing on a chair at the kitchen sink, attempting to rinse some scratches off of a DVD! Ha!! :-)

Those who know us understand the value of a DVD in my son's world, but what's cool is that this is the first time in his life that he has pulled a chair or other object over to assist himself in gaining access to something beyond his reach. The lack of this milestone was something we noted early on, but over time forgot about (bigger fish to fry at the time) and didn't worry much about because he was at least gaining language and the ability to ask for assistance - and ask he does! Unlike many children on the spectrum, JC is pretty dependent on interaction with us to get his needs met (while some children might be more independent and less engaged), in part because of dyspraxia (coordination disorder) and low muscle tone. So he needs us to help him w/ his physical needs, and to navigate the physical world, more than a child w/ autism only (not that this is a cup of tea, mind you - and remember, it's a spectrum, so what you see can vary GREATLY - but hopefully you get the point).

Similarly, several weeks ago while visiting my father (from here on we'll just call him the Grumpy Grandad), JC stepped out into the back yard with his little pile of VHS tapes we'd picked up at the library. He was having a little picnic of sorts, and sat down in the grass to admire his collection. Well apparently the grass wasn't particularly comfortable (FL grass isn't soft like it is up north - the stuff has to be tough enough to withstand the brutal heat), so he walked over to the french doors, picked up the little carpet that he found there, and drug it back out to the grass. He then proceeded to place all of his VHS tapes onto the rug before sitting down on the little patch of rug that remaind untouched by the tapes. ;) Great thinking, little man! ;)

Anyway, YAY! :) He's gaining independence and adding new pieces to the puzzle - out of order and a bit late, but we're not in a race, so it's all good. The power of motivation is quite amazing, isn't it?

Memory

I am always so amazed by my son's memory. Perhaps this is exaggerated by the fact that my memory (especially long-term) is so poor, but even so, JC's memory is definitely one of his greatest assets. It is his memory - at least in part - that made it possible for him to read so early, all by sight (though he has developed excellent decoding skills on his own as well). It is also his memory, I think, that fuels some of his obessions - like collections, for instance. He's always making connections to things he's seen before, so when he sees (or hears) something that is part of a series or collection, for instance - like different episodes of a video collection or different varieties of auto tags (a new interest since our trip to the tag agency earlier this month) - he becomes passionately interested in studying them, collecting them and discussing them. This interest can and does become obssessive, but it does appear that over time he moves on to newer, broader interests, which is nice - and important.

This afternoon, while walking around a lake downtown, we passed a family enjoying a picnic under a shade tree. JC noted that the girl - a teenager - was eating a Rice Crispy treat, so he excitedly announced, "I remember sister eats that snack before!" (which sounds more like, "I wememah siser eats wat snack befoa!) Sure enough, last summer when M was home from college with us, we stocked up on the boxes of 100 calorie Rice Crispy treats for her and she ate them daily. M was quite pleased that he remembered. So was I.
He might be delayed, dyspraxic, autistic . . . but he's my smart boy. <3

I'll procrastinate later, thank you very much

So I've finally started trying to work out the details of our upcoming trip to NJ. And it's a good thing I didn't wait any longer, as I realized that I had the dates wrong. I thought we were leaving Friday night, but we're actually leaving Thursday night. Makes a bit of a difference, particularly given that we have "zoo school" in Tampa (2 hours away) on Thursday morning and I'll be staying there overnight on Wednesday to deliver our rodent (dog) to my dad's for his keeping. This leaves Monday - Wed to get everything planned, packed and ready to roll. Let the prayers begin.

I'm really excited about this trip and only wish we had more $ set aside for a bit more freedom of choice while we're there, but such is life. We'll have to get by on a shoestring budget. If FL public schools can do it, so can we. *eyeroll*

We'll get to see family and friends, which is what it's really all about of course. But we'll also get to see Lady Liberty as a special treat for the little man (let's go ahead and add this to the list of reasons my life is fuller because of my son, as it might not be a priority otherwise) and are now planning to meet up with some friends and their children in Central Park. Can I get a "WHOOOT!!" please? Yeah, nice, that's it. :)

Neither of us has really spent any time in NYC before, so we're pumped. And of course there is SO much to see and do that we won't be able to squeeze in (or afford) on our first-ever day trip, but Central Park is actually at the top of my list of places I'd want to visit anyway, so I'm a happy camper.

We'll also get to spend some time with my girlfriend Steph, her sweet husband and her two great kiddos - one boy, one girl. Her son also has autism and we met on an online forum early on and used to get together at least once a month with our boys when we still lived up in NJ. They're good, fun, genuine folks and I'm looking forward to hanging out in their back yard and letting the boys do whatever it is they please (within reason). Their yard is awesome. :)

Oh, and we want to take JC (the little man) to the boardwalk in Ocean City. He's sure to be overwhelmed with excitement about the business of it all. We have nice beaches in FL, but we don't have boardwalks like they do in NJ. It's a totally different beach experience down here.

Otherwise, we had a nice day today. Dh had to work most of the day, but my daughter was in town for a Best Buddies conference so I was blessed with her presence for several hours today. We drove to downtown and walked around Lake Eola and the farmer's market. We stopped a bit so that JC could enjoy the live music (man singing and playing acoustic guitar) with some other children, then we grabbed a hot dog lunch and had a picnic in the shade. Afterward we walked around the lake, people and bird watching. We saw a snake-bird eating a fish, a wounded swan (and many that weren't wounded, of course), and at least 5 large turtles . . . and ducks and pigeons (which little man remembered as "Bert's favorite kind!!") . . . and lots of dogs, which my daughter enjoyed. It was a really pleasant afternoon outdoors with the two folks I love the most in the world. I love outdoor markets and concerts. Love, love, love 'em.

Like a kid in a candy store . . .

I <3 educational products. Seriously love them. If someone gave me $1000 to blow right now, I would undoubtedly spend the bulk on books, flashcards and manipulatives (not that $1000 would get me very far, as this stuff costs a fortune). Never mind that I could use some new clothes and need to replace my glasses that broke a couple of weeks ago. I'd still choose educational products. I've been browsing through a catalog this morning, circling things I'd love to have and use with my boy.

A few months ago I'd have beat myself up about this, believing I needed to get a life. Now, I'm trying to accept that perhaps this IS life for me, and instead of fighting it or belittling it, I need to surrender and accept. No, this doesn't mean I need to go broke(er) purchasing items from educational catalogs, but that perhaps I need to recognize that I truly feel excited and "in my element" when exploring these materials and considering all of the original ideas and how they've been put to use in such creative ways.

That's Silly, Mom!!

My son, as those who know me are aware, is very fond of production company logos. His favorite, by far, is Columbia/Tristar (the "torch lady" and the pegasus images). Well, he was very pleased to learn that the Statue of Liberty is also a "torch lady." And for his birthday my grandmother sent him a "Ready to Read" book titled Wonders of America: The Statue of Liberty. So today we were reading it (he can read very well for a child with delays in so many areas, which is a blessing for which I am very grateful) and discussing it, because we're heading to NJ at the end of next week and hope to get to see the Lady up close while we're there. He is BEYOND excited about this. Anyway, after we finished reading he asked me to, "Sing wa Statue of Wiberty song, mom!" Of course I'm sure there is one, but I haven't a clue how it goes, so I made something up, and he sat perfectly still and listened closely. I don't remember exactly what I came up with, but I basically retold the story of how she was a gift from France and they had to take her apart to bring her to the USA. He loved it. And, folks, I sound like Joe Cocker . . . with a head cold.

From there, I decided to check Youtube to see if I could find a patriotic song with images of our Lady. Sure enough, there is a youtube video of Celine Dion singing God Bless America that featured many images of the statue, the American flag, bald eagles, mountains and prairies. I explained to my boy that each of these images were symbols of America, the country we live in. I was feeling the love. :)

So then I decided to search for "statue of liberty song" and here's what I found (Lady Liberty singing "Rescue Me"):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sx28oc2yOuQ

I WISH I could've captured the look on my son's face when she opened her eyes and started singing!! LOL It was priceless. Mind you, he has about a dozen printed pictures of her from various positions that he treasures, even sleeps with on occasion, so he is intimately familiar with her face. He knew something was wrong. Very, very WRONG. His eyes were as big as twin moons and he started backing away from the computer, folding his arms around himself as if he were afraid. Poor guy! LOl So I asked him if he was afraid and he said, "No, Statue of Wiberty not talks!" I assured him that he was right and that it was a computer trick, just like the way a video we'd watched earlier tricked us by showing a cat jumping backwards up to the top of a china cabinet (which he thought was hysterical and wanted to do himself). He seemed relieved.

And we carried on. Hopefully he's not terribly scarred from the sight.

The First Sprout

Oooh, I have a blog. And the green grass grows all around, all around . . .